Tag: video

Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow demos 10 first steps to calm & comfort a distressed person living with dementia

My Alzheimer's Story

This four-and-a-half minute video by Teepa Snow (see below) demonstrates 10 easy steps to calm and comfort a distressed person living with dementia.

Truth be told, these practical actions would likely help calm and comfort anyone in distress:

  1. position yourself on the person’s dominant side
  2. useHand Under Hand™ (HUH™ video demo with Teepa here)
  3. pump hand you are holding (like a heartbeat)
  4. copy their breathing with emphasis on the exhale
  5. repeat issue using their words
  6. acknowledge & validate their emotions (more on validation here)
  7. mirror their emotional state
  8. calm & slow your own voice
  9. slow your breathing, continue emphasis on exhale (more on breathing here)
  10. check / confirm issue (e.g. you’re angry?)

These are also great:

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

10 things to remember when you interact with people who forget

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Family, Joy, Love, Music

olivia singing to her great grandmother creates a beautiful moment of love and connection

My Alzheimer's Story

Many things about the human condition are universal. Our ability to connect through music is one of them. Music is a powerful way to forge and strengthen bonds between people of all ages, faiths, races, brain health, genders, and whatever! Music, it would seem, is at the heart of our souls. I experienced the joy of music with Mom time after time and am so grateful to have learned as much as I did about its power as we lived with Alzheimer’s together.

The video clip below, of American teen Olivia Erway singing “How Great Thou Art” to her great grandmother is joyful and touching. Mom also knew this hymn, among hundreds of other songs. I was first introduced to it during the Thursday morning sing-alongs in ElderJail. I’m not a religious person, and, although I knew the words after awhile, I never did sing along to this song — kinda’ goes against my grain. That said, I appreciate the beauty of Olivia’s voice, and the power of music to build bridges across all kinds of divides.

Also, the video above reminds me of Australian Carol George singing to her “Nan.” Equally beautiful and touching.

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Joy, Life & Living, Love, Memories, Music

mom and her bff gaby sing happy birthday o canada

My Alzheimer's Story

July 1, 2014: Mom and I roll outside to sit with Gaby for half an hour before supper. Mom is able to stand and walk today so I help her from her wheelchair to the “deck” chair beside her friend.

“Oh Patti! Look at you!” Gaby is her usual supportive and enthusiastic self. “Look at your beautiful hair. Did you have it done today?” Mom touches her hair, looks at me. I nod my head.

“I had it done today. Is it nice?” She runs her fingers through it, checking again for herself.

“Oh yes! And isn’t that a pretty pink top? And the detail on the bottom of your pants – it’s very chic.” Gaby has something good to say about mostly everything and everyone. She notices things like the detailing on the pants; she worked as a clerk in a women’s fashion boutique decades ago. The white capris Mom has on are new. I bought them last week at The Bay, on sale. I also got a lavender pair, and a sky blue pair, as well as three matching tops. We can mix and match. “When you look good, you feel good,” Mom always used to say to me. Those kind of things still apply when you live with dementia.

“I love my Patti,” Gaby says to heaven. We sit and rock and talk about nothing, watch the traffic go up the hill beside The Home.

“That’s a big truck eh Mom?”

“She erased it. I, I, I…” Alphabet soup from Mom.

“Leblanc Farm.” Gaby reads the branding on the side of the rig in the few seconds it takes for it to go by. “That must be a big farm.”  She’s as sharp as a tack.

It’s a scorcher of day. There are tornado warnings for southern Ontario, a nine-hour drive from where we sit in relative safety in southeastern Quebec.

“I wonder if we’ll be hit with the tail end of a storm?” I muse.

“Oh dear.” Mom worries. Gaby holds Mom’s left hand in hers. Mom rat-a-ta-tats the top of Gaby’s right hand with her right one. It’s a sign of affection. She loves her Gaby as much as Gaby loves her, but she doesn’t say so in so many words. Instead, she gives her love taps on her hand. Gaby knows they’re love taps; others don’t. That’s part of the reason why Mom is medicated with antipsychotics. For giving people misunderstood love taps.

I take some pictures. We sing O Canada. We love our country and each other. July 1, 2014: a good day.

Seven weeks after I filmed this video, our friend and angel Gabrielle went home on August 20, 2014, after she fell (maybe because of the Risperdal she was being given), and broke her foot. Gaby’s goal had been to make it to 100; she was close. Mom joined her two years later on August 17, 2016, after she too fell, and broke her arm.
I hope the two of them are raising Cain wherever they are.
Joy, Life & Living, Love, Memories, Videos

an alzheimer easter egg hunt

My Alzheimer's Story

I had intended to leave home over the Easter weekend 2012. It was to be my second two-day respite after returning to live and care for Mom five and half months earlier.

I was physically and emotionally exhausted; I desperately needed to get away. I was counting on the person who was soon to be in complete legal control of Mom’s care, and who lived just a few miles down the road, to be close by in case Caroline, our angel care partner, needed support while I recharged my batteries.

But as many care partners learn to their dismay, relying on others often leads to disappointment, anger, resentment, and the feeling you’re drowning. I was both furious and at a loss when I discovered the back-up I had hoped for would not materialize because the person in question was going to Mexico on vacation. If I didn’t get a break, I would suffer a break – I knew that for sure. I decided to cancel my away time, but also have Caroline come for a “tag-team” weekend. It was the best solution I could come up with under the circumstances.

As many things do, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Over the weekend, Caroline, Mom and I shared some lovely moments including an Easter egg hunt during which we hid, found and ate chocolate eggs (not necessarily in that order!). I filmed and photographed some of the fun, which reminded me of my childhood. I am truly thankful to have these memories, though I still sometimes struggle with anger toward family members who failed Mom and me, and worse, actively vilified me and, incredibly, did their best to make my life miserable. I’ve heard the same kinds of sad stories from other carers worldwide — a situation that makes being a care partner even more difficult than it already is.

But I don’t want to dwell on that “bad karma.” There’s no use being bitter and twisted because of someone else’s unconscionable behaviour. All it does is give them more power, which is of course what they seek. Instead, I want to celebrate having brought my mother joy and myself healing while we lived with her dementia. The road was extraordinarily difficult for both of us, but it was worth it in the end, and I have no regrets.

I hope you like this three-minute video of our 2012 Easter egg hunt. If you are a care partner to someone who lives with dementia, I also hope you are inspired to create moments like these filled with life, living and the people you love.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/05/29/101-activities-you-can-enjoy-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/07/23/choosing-love-and-finding-joy/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/04/03/happy-easter-memories/

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Care Partnering, Family, Hope, Humour, Joy, Life & Living, Love, Spirituality

albina takes internet by storm with joy

My Alzheimer's Story

 

Albina sees herself on TV

 

Joyful Albina Foisy is an overnight Internet sensation.

Her son Armand took a video of her playing in the snow. It went viral. I quoted her and shared that video here.

Then Armand took another video of Albina watching herself on TV.

It also went viral.

Here’s why: Continue reading “albina takes internet by storm with joy” →

Care Partnering, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow demos Hand Under Hand™ dementia care to connect, comfort and “control”

My Alzheimer's Story

Teepa Snow demos hand under hand
Dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow has developed a simple technique that anyone (i.e you and me) can easily learn and use to help connect with as well as comfort a person with dementia.

Using the technique, which Snow calls “Hand Under Hand™,” can also help dementia care partners “take control” of situations before they get out of hand. (Pun intended!)

It’s also important and helpful to position yourself below the eye level of the person with dementia. If you do only these two simple things (get down and use Hand Under Hand™), life will be much easier on everyone. Guaranteed.

Teepa thin banner

 

Remember: the purpose is to control the situation, not the person. Dementia care partners are in the process together: always do whatever you can to respect the independence, rights and dignity of the person with dementia.

In the video below, Snow demonstrates how to used Hand Under Hand™ as part of the process of helping someone to bathe.

But Hand Under Hand™ can be used in multiple ways: to help someone to eat, to walk, or even to calm down in a crisis.

I learned this technique in early 2015 when I began the process of becoming a PAC Certified Trainer.  I know it works  because I use it myself. I only wish it had been part of my tool kit from the start. I chose not to recertify with PAC in 2016, but I’m still a huge Teepa fan and embrace all of her techniques.

 

 

Related links:

More Teepa Snow on MyAlzheimersStory

10+ Teepa Snow videos on the basics of dementia care

Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

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Care Partnering, Family, Life & Living, Memories, Videos

some things never change and others do a lot

My Alzheimer's Story
Jean & Patty short
Auntie Jean’o on the left and Mom on the right in either the summer of 2003 or 2004 – I’m not sure which.

On April 24, 2015,  I gave a guest “lecture” to third-year special care counselling students at a local community college.

April 24 also happens to be my Auntie Jean’s birthday; she died in January 2012 after she she fell out of bed and broke her hip. She had dementia like Mom did. Their younger sister Leona had it too; she died of cancer in 2006. Their baby brother Eddy has it too.This will be the story of millions more. It could lead to the downfall of our economies and societies if we don’t learn how to better deal with the disease.

This was the second time I had done such a lecture; I intend to do many more to honour my mom, my aunts, my uncle and maybe myself as well as the countless others who have dementia and the people who care for and with them. I’m keen to share what I’ve learned with others so they don’t make the same mistakes I have. Let them make new ones and pass on what they learn to the next generation. We and they will need all the help we can collectively get.

Like my long-ago public speaking courses, this three-hour “mini workshop” to the college students was jammed packed with hands-on activities that prompted them to think for themselves. One of the exercises invited the future counsellors to “play detective” and tell me as much as they could about Mom based on 1) a short bio and then 2) a series of photographs, videos and stories.

One of the videos in the second part of the exercise was the first clip below, filmed in the summer of 2003 or 2004; it’s my Mom (on the right) and her sister Jean telling me a bit about their childhood.

 

Does anything strike you about Patty based on what you see in the video of her with Jean? Now take a look at this clip from summer 2014 when I had her for dinner at my place:

Any similarities jump out at you? See any differences? Yeah. Me too. Here’s the thing: the people who love us, who really really love us and see us and know us, do everything they can to nurture the essence of who we are and help our spirit soar no matter where we are in our life journey. And to be able to do that for someone you love, especially when their capacity is different than it once was, is a great privilege and blessing.

That’s a pretty cool lesson in the midst of a whole bunch of shit.

Thanks Mom and Auntie Jean’o for sharing your stories and wisdom with me. I love you both.

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Humour, Joy, Life & Living, Love, Memories, Videos

happy easter memories

My Alzheimer's Story

Mom, Caroline and I celebrated Easter 2012 with an Easter egg hunt (more on that here), daffodils, fun and plenty of chocolate. Sharing the fond memories and wishing you joy and laughter wherever you are and whatever you might be celebrating.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/04/11/an-alzheimer-easter-egg-hunt/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/05/29/101-activities-you-can-enjoy-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/09/06/5-good-things-alzheimers-brought-more-of-into-my-life/

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Family, Joy, Love, Music

i will always love you

My Alzheimer's Story

I will always love you

Many care partners and family members experience a deeper connection with loved ones who live with dementia even as the disease evolves.  Many also express their love in special ways.

In this touching video, Australian Carol George sings to her “Nan” who has dementia and beautifully expresses what millions of care partners around the world feel about the people they care for: we will always love you. You don’t have to be able to sing like Ms George to say I love you. I say it to the people I love all the time in words and in actions. One day those opportunities will be gone. Don’t wait. Say I love you today.

 

Joy, Life & Living, Love, Memories

life is a chorus line if you believe you can can

My Alzheimer's Story

pink-can-can-dancers-cropped-1

September 25, 2014

Dear Mom,

This is the second of two letters to honour your 86th birthday on September 27, 2014, and remind us of the important things in our lives. The first one was about swimming. This one is about dancing.

We’ve done a lot of it. Dancing I mean. Individually and together. We both love it. We are the Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire of Alzheimer’s. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration but what the hell it’s your 86th birthday. Being a tad “over the top” won’t kill us.  Life often feels to me like a series of random accidents from which some of us recover sometimes and some of us don’t ever. We’ve done a pretty good job of getting through the rough patches so far. More important than the fall is that we’re still up and moving, if not in body then surely in spirit. Our first documented tandem dancing adventure was in honour of your 80th birthday in 2008. I had stumbled on Matt Harding’s worldwide project and thought — you know how I’m always getting crazy ideas — hey! that’s something Mom and I could do together!

We created Patti and Susan’s dance video over the course of the summer:

We two-stepped our way through the Christmas season in 2011/2012. Here’s you and Judy’s husband John cutting the rug in their kitchen:

In February 2012 we met up with a dancing bear at a winter festival in Magog. Guess what? You made a new friend. See more by clicking on the video link of you and the dancing bear.

patti-and-dancing-bear-video-pic-for-blog

On August 4, 2012, we celebrated the Hermitage Club’s white-themed centennial. I hadn’t expected to be there with you, but I knew it would be your last big party and you wouldn’t have missed it for the world. So there we were at a wonderful table in a magical setting. We clowned for the camera and Bev and I discovered we had the same dress:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You had to “go to the peeps” at one point, and on the way to the ladies room we ran into the chef. Here’s what happened:

When the music started in earnest, we got up to dance and we didn’t stop until our legs gave out.  I’ll never forget it, or at least I won’t until I do. Thanks Mom, for dancing your last dance with me.

Happy birthday ❤

Love,

Punkie

XOX

September 25, 2014

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