Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Toward better care

surprising teepa care partner tip for when people keep repeating same old stories

Yes, it can be tiresome listening to someone who is living in the early and middle “stages” of dementia tell you the same old stories over and over again.

When you feel worn out by repetition, it can be helpful to remember these three things:

  1. The person living with dementia is likely trying to create a connection with you through story telling. She is reaching out in one of the joyful ways she knows how: by sharing some of herself or her life.
  2. The person living with dementia likey doesn’t remember he has told you that same story before. To him it’s fresh and new.
  3. Storytelling, conversation and connection are great ways to preserve a sense of self and to get brain cells firing, both of which are good for the well-being of us all, including people living with dementia.

In the powerful video below, Teeepa Snow demonstrates in just a few minutes how to keep conversations going with a short and simple phrase that will create engagement instead of cutting people off and potentially creating ill will and disconnection.

Teepa’s counterintuitive tip? Say: “Tell me more…”

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

25 dementia communication quick tips in 4 minutes!

 

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Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow demos 10 first steps to calm & comfort a distressed person living with dementia

This four-and-a-half minute video by Teepa Snow (see below) demonstrates 10 easy steps to calm and comfort a distressed person living with dementia.

Truth be told, these practical actions would likely help calm and comfort anyone in distress:

  1. position yourself on the person’s dominant side
  2. useHand Under Hand™ (HUH™ video demo with Teepa here)
  3. pump hand you are holding (like a heartbeat)
  4. copy their breathing with emphasis on the exhale
  5. repeat issue using their words
  6. acknowledge & validate their emotions (more on validation here)
  7. mirror their emotional state
  8. calm & slow your own voice
  9. slow your breathing, continue emphasis on exhale (more on breathing here)
  10. check / confirm issue (e.g. you’re angry?)

These are also great:

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

10 things to remember when you interact with people who forget

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Advocacy, Antipsychotic drugs, Toward better care

teepa talks antipsychotics: 6 quotable quotes

When I read reporter Gillian Slade’s Medicine Hat News article on Teepa Snow’s perspective on antipsychotics, the quotes jumped out at me. It was the first time I’d “heard” Teepa speak out so clearly about how antipsychotic medications often make things worse rather than better for people who live with dementia.

I thought it would be worthwhile to highlight and share the quotes:

1 ) “Anti-anxiety drugs can actually cause people to put chairs through windows, put their fist right through a window, have cuts all over their hands and they would keep going. They have to get out of there…they’re going to die anyway so they may as well do whatever they have to.”

2 ) “If you just lock doors or tie me down, what that shows is you’re committed to enforcing this ‘concentration camp’ and I fight the restraints as long and as hard as I can.”

3 ) “It’s called ‘you go with their flow’ because you can’t fix their delusion.”

4 ) “You can’t be so focused on getting tasks done that you forget that you’re doing those tasks to a human being.”

5 ) “The problem is they [antipsychotics] are used as blankets. You throw this heavy blanket over somebody…it limits attention, focus, motor ability and sensory awareness.”

6 ) “We aren’t allowed to do this [physically or chemically restrain] with any other population but we feel free to do it with dementia. You can’t do it in prisons, you can’t arbitrarily restrain somebody over a long period of time.”

Teepa and I are of one mind on this: the more positive approaches to care are learned and practiced, the less care workers and care partners will feel challenged by the behavioural expressions of PLWD, the less drugs PLWD will be given.

When PLWD are given fewer antipsychotic medications, they will be less likely to fall and to become agitated. They will also be better equipped to continue to engage life as fully as possible until the end.

I invite you to flesh out the bones of these quotes by reading Gillian Slade’s excellent interview-based article on the Medicine Hat News here

More information on antipsychotics.

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Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

7 teepa tips to help people with dementia do what they can to care

Mom & Pia Roma in a tête-à-tête on May 9, 2013

Mom adored her cat Pia Roma; she came to live with Mom in her big red brick house on the hill sometime after 2001. In the mornings, Pia and Mom delighted in having tea for two. But as Mom’s dementia progressed, it got harder for her to care for her beloved Pia. Twice when I came home from Dubai in 2010, I found breakfast cereal instead of cat food in Pia’s dish.

“When you develop dementia you don’t lose your interest in providing care,” says  dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow, although, as she points out, you may lose some of the skills it takes to do it, just like my mom did.

Caring for other living beings such as a child, a spouse, a friend, a pet, or even the birds outside, as well as caring for the things around you such as your home, your yard, your plants, or whatever brings you pleasure, gives meaning to your life. The desire to care for others and for things doesn’t diminish with dementia.

Here are some specific tips and a video from Teepa Snow on helping people who are living with dementia to care, and thus to keep purpose and meaning alive every day:

  1. provide guidance appropriate to what kind of GEM the person is
  2. observe the person’s behaviour closely for clues
  3. use visual cues (e.g. point, demonstrate, model)
  4. use verbal cues (i.e. say what might be done, make suggestions, give gentle instructions)
  5. break activities up into smaller tasks / “windows”
  6. do “with,” not “for’ or “to”
  7. support PLWD in what they want to do, what they like to do and what they need to do

MORE “QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

Teepa’s GEMS outshine all the stages

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

Take a short survey on behaviour here.

Subscribe to my free updates here.

Information, Poetry, Resources, Tips, tools & skills

Top 10 MAS posts to date (plus bonus links)

 

Happy New Year!

As we launch into 2017, I am committed to building on the success of the past to change mindsets and improve dementia care worldwide. MyAlzheimersStory.com is only three years old, but it has already made a mark and garnered a lot of support, thanks to you, it’s subscribers and supporters.

MAS top posts come in all colours, shapes and sizes. They include memes, tips, demos, poetry, questions and a rant. The top post, “5 ways we rob people with dementia of their dignity,” has been viewed more than 13,500 times. Not bad for starters. Here’s a list of the top 10 posts:

  1. 5 ways we rob people with dementia of their dignity
  2. 20 questions that help explain why people with dementia get agitated and physically aggressive
  3. 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person with dementia (Teepa Snow demo)
  4. 20 questions to ask when a LO with dementia doesn’t recognize you anymore
  5. 13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home.” (Teepa Snow demo)
  6. don’t give advice to people who are drowning
  7. 7 powerful things a care partner can say to stop anger and aggression in a person with dementia
  8. Two Mothers Remembered by Joann Snow Duncanson
  9. dying with my mom
  10. Teepa Snow demos Hand Under Hand™ dementia care to connect, comfort and “control”

Bonus:

Subscribe to my free updates here.

Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Image copyright: kathienichols / 123RF Stock Photo

Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills

Teepa’s top 10 ten holiday tips plus 10 more from me (and three PDFs!)

Yes, holidays are special times, but they can also be stressful on many people, particularly people who find themselves alone, or people who live with dementia.

Here are 10 simple “visitor do’s” from dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow for those who might not be accustomed to spending time with someone with dementia but who will be visiting during the festive season:

  1. Start with a smile and a handshake
  2. Introduce yourself by name, even if you think the person with dementia knows you well
  3. Use short phrases; pause between thoughts and ideas
  4. Talk about old times
  5. Talk about happy events and memories (say “I remember,” NOT “do you remember?)
  6. Accept general comments, don’t delve too deep
  7. Be prepared for repetition
  8. Do something with the person instead of just talking
  9. Go with the flow of the conversation
  10. Stay calm

Share this link or download Teepa’s tips below, and send them to your holiday visitors BEFORE they arrive for their visit. The PDF includes 10 tips for people with dementia as well as 10 tips for care partners; it’s a great resource. Also, Teepa’s Holiday GEMS will help you better understand how to engage your loved one with dementia wherever they are in the disease process. You can also download the GEMS(TM) PDF at the end of this post.

Besides these great Teepa Snow tips, here are 10 Festive Dementia “Don’ts” from MyAlzheimersStory:

  1. Don’t argue. Ever.
  2. Don’t ask if they remember you
  3. Don’t be disappointed if they don’t recognize you
  4. Don’t ask them if they remember specific people, things or events. Instead, talk about the people, things or events yourself and let them join in
  5. Don’t treat them in ways you wouldn’t want to be treated yourself
  6. Don’t exclude them from activities
  7. Don’t talk about them as if they aren’t there when they’re right there beside you
  8. Don’t pity or patronize them
  9. Don’t forget they are people just like you
  10. Don’t focus on what they can’t do; celebrate the things they can

These tips work anytime; you can use them all year round.

Here are the download gifts from me to you:

Merry Christmas!

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/12/23/an-alzheimers-dementia-christmas-story/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/12/06/santa-claus-lives-with-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/12/29/im-glad-christmas-is-over/

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Advocacy, Challenges & Solutions, Toward better care, Videos

6 scary facts you should know about dementia care

Aging matters Documentary pic

Today’s dementia care partners, advocates and leading-edge experts fear that if we don’t take significant steps to create change, we’re going to face a massive care crisis in the near future. Families with members who live with dementia are already cracking at the seams. So are our healthcare systems. Here are six key things we need to think about (watch the excellent one-hour PBS documentary at the end of the post for more):

1 ) we will all be affected

Anyone can be affected by dementia, and eventually all of us will be touched by it in one way or another: either we will live with it ourselves, we will care for somebody who lives with it or we will know someone who lives with it or cares for someone who lives with it.

2 ) it’s very very expensive

Dementia care is expensive. In fact, dementia is the costliest condition in the United States, beating out cancer and heart disease. And most of the costs are not associated with healthcare, but with long term care. That means families usually bear the costs for caring for a loved one who lives with dementia. Many give up employment and deplete their savings to care for family members, which means they will be less able to care for themselves when the time comes.

3 ) systems are ill-equipped

Our healthcare systems and the medical professionals within them are, for the most part, ill-equipped to deal with people who live with dementia and to provide them with humane, dignified, and healthful care based on innovative care principles. Thousands upon thousands of elderly people with dementia are still physically and chemically restrained and warehoused in facilities where they wait to die. While there are exceptions, the vast majority of healthcare professionals don’t have the knowledge, skills, or the resources to provide state-of-the-art dementia care. That needs to change.

4 ) families are failing

Likewise, families of people diagnosed with dementia don’t know what they’re up against until it’s too late. They often become overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated because they simply don’t have the knowledge and/or skills required to care for someone who lives with dementia. Care partners live with depression and other serious illnesses and often die before those they care for. It’s a recipe for disaster.

5 ) a care crisis looms

Furthermore, experts agree the reliance on family caregivers is completely unsustainable. They say, for example, that the current ratio of caregivers available to provide care to somebody 80 years old and older in the United States is 7 to 1. Many care facilities are short-staffed as it is and the ratio is expected to drop to less than 3 to 1 by 2050. The situation is similar in other countries such as the Canada, the UK, and Australia. That means people now in their forties will face an acute shortage of people to care for them in their 70s and 80s.

6 ) we just don’t get it

Perhaps most frightening is how  deeply we misunderstand  and characterize the disease and the people who have it. For example, dementia care pioneer and expert Dr. Allen Power says: “Whether you are in your own home or a nursing home, we take people whose experiences are shifting and we put them in places based on our view of the world, our rhythms, our schedules, our staffing models, and we expect the people with changing brains to fit. If they can’t, we blame their dementia, and we give them antipsychotics medications.”

We need to approach dementia care in a whole new way. Our mindset must radically change. Our systems must be rebuilt. There are pockets of innovation, handfuls of care facilities that are doing things right (usually at prices beyond the reach of all but the wealthy), and strategies for moving forward. But they are not enough. This one-hour PBS Aging Matters documentary explores these issues in more depth; it includes interviews with people with dementia, researchers, authors, advocates and dementia experts such as Dr. Allen Power, and positive approach to care advocate and educator Teepa Snow among others. I highly recommend it.

 

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/03/30/20-ways-to-create-dementia-care-homes-away-from-home/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/10/21/10-reasons-why-neglect-and-abuse-of-elders-with-dementia-may-be-the-norm-rather-than-the-exception-in-long-term-care-facilities/

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Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

10 quick tips to help you tango not tangle

Teepa Snow_ tango don't tangle

“If you want to change the dance, you’ve got to change the steps,” is a great coaching quote I learned way back when, and the most important part of the lesson is that the steps you must change are your own.

Here are 10 dance-inspired tips to help you tango instead of tangle with your dementia care partner:

  1. Let them lead
  2. Play music they like
  3. Look into their eyes
  4. Adjust your steps to fit theirs
  5. Take their hand
  6. Don’t hold on too tight
  7. Be light on your feet
  8. Guide only if and when required
  9. Relax and smile
  10. Twirl occasionally, just for fun

Teepa thin banner

Additional inspiration on the same theme with renowned Hollywood lindy hop and jitterbg dancer Jean Veloz at her 90th birthday party in 2014 (she makes it look so easy):

 

Here’s Veloz in a similar number in her “younger” days:

 

 

“QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

More dance-inspired posts here.

Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

Subscribe to my updates here.

Advocacy, Quotes, Teepa Snow, Toward better care

6 ways to create better dementia care relationships

It's about relationships Teepa Snow

Here are six concrete ways I learned to forge a more positive relationship with my mom who lived with dementia. The way we approach things is often more important than getting them done. Although ironically, better relationships make it easier to get things done more efficiently and effectively.

1) listen

Open your eyes, ears, hands and heart. Be observant. Pay attention to nuances in behaviour. Listen with your whole being to what’s being said by your care partner who lives with dementia. You may be amazed that people who seem to have lost their ability to communicate can in fact make their needs known and connect at profound levels. Listen to be enriched. Listen to be more effective in how you engage.

2) agree

As I and a host of others have said many many times before and as all smart care partners eventually come to realize, it pays to agree:

Say “Yes, and…” to your care partner who lives with dementia. Go with their flow. When you do, your life and theirs will change for the better.

3) create/hold space

Make space for your care partner who lives with dementia to be who he or she is, whatever that means on the day or in the moment. Don’t try to make her or him into something she or he isn’t, and that includes wishing they were who they used to be. Remember that the core of who they are is is sill there, even though her or his self may manifest in different ways. Make space for the present and celebrate who they are in the moment. (More about that here.)

4) take care of yourself

Caring for yourself is vital. That means doing whatever it takes to find support, get respite, and have time away from your care partnering role. “Put the oxygen on yourself first,” everyone says – and for good reason! Your health is critical to your own and your care partner’s well being. If you don’t take care of yourself, there’s no way you can care for somebody else in the long term. Self care is not optional, it’s essential to having a good care partner relationship and less stressful experience.

5) walk away before you explode

“I didn’t mean what I said! I can’t believe I was so cruel…” These are the words of care partners who are falling apart at the seams. They are exhausted, depleted, at the end of their ropes, and they have said and done things they would never normally say or do because they have not paid attention to #4. If you find yourself at this level of crisis, walk away before you say or do something that will make the situation even worse. Give yourself time and space to breathe and recoup — a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, whatever it takes to get yourself back together.

6) walk back when you are strong enough

Because of the stigma of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, people who live with dementia often become isolated when they most need our love and support. When you’re strong enough, and you are ready to take their hand again and walk by their side, please do so. They need you. If you can’t do it personally, help and support those who are able to do so in your place.

These tips and thoughts are based on my personal experience, as well as my knowledge and work as a dementia care trainer and coach.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/01/10/10-things-to-remember-when-you-interact-with-people-who-forget/

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Advocacy, Quotes, Teepa Snow, Toward better care

5 ways we rob people with dementia of their dignity

Dementia doesn't rob someone of their dignity ~ Teepa Snow quote 2

Sadly, there are countless ways we rob people who live with dementia of their dignity.

Here are five I’ve learned based on my personal experience:

1 ) Calling them by diminutive pet names instead of their given names

2 ) Treating them like they are little more than pieces of furniture

3 ) Forcing them to sit with nothing to do for hours on end

4 ) Neglecting their overall care and well being

5 ) Inapropriately medicating them with antipsychotic drugs

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity regardless of race, colour, creed, gender, or disease.

These tips and thoughts are based on my personal experience, as well as my knowledge and work as a former certified PAC trainer; the quote is Teepa Snow’s. Do you believe things should change? Here’s the other side of the coin: 10 practical ways care partners can help preserve the dignity of people who live with dementia.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/06/13/10-practical-ways-care-partners-can-help-preserve-the-dignity-of-people-who-live-with-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/07/07/7-ways-to-preserve-dignity/

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