Tag: person-centred care

Love, Resources, Tips, tools & skills, Toward better care

20 ways touch benefits people who live with dementia

My Alzheimer's Story

holding-hands-5-logo

The image above is a close-up of Mom and her BFF Gaby holding hands on July 13, 2013, when I took them to a concert in the park. Gaby was 98 at the time, Mom was 86;  they sat side by side and had a grand time listening and clapping to the music, watching the band and the goings on around them and being “au plein air” on a fine summer evening.

Gaby and Mom loved to hold hands, wherever, whenever. They did it all the time. So did Mom and I. Appropriate loving physical touch (I deliberately include the qualifiers “appropriate” and ” loving” for obvious reasons), is fundamental to human health and well being, and yet the elderly, particularly people who live with dementia, and especially those in the later stages don’t get enough of it, which is sad in view of the many benefits. Appropriate loving physical touch is easy to do; it:

  • requires no special skill
  • uses no equipment
  • takes little time
  • costs nothing
  • feels good

Here are some of the benefits thanks to Ann Catlin, and AGEucate (watch the short slide show below for more information):

  1. eases pain
  2. improves sleep
  3. lowers heart rate
  4. decreases anxiety
  5. increases relaxation
  6. soothes and comforts
  7. lowers blood pressure
  8. gently focusses attention
  9. helps heal both body soul
  10. makes people feel secure
  11. creates trust and goodwill
  12. builds bridges and connection
  13. immediately decreases agitation
  14. lowers agitation for up to an hour
  15. fosters feelings of closeness and warmth
  16. decreases intensity of agitated behaviour
  17. decreases frequency of agitated behaviour
  18. makes people feel that others care about them
  19. conveys fondness, kindness, concern and encouragement
  20. improves relationships between PLWD and their care partners

 

 

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/05/29/101-activities-you-can-enjoy-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/07/10/5-ways-to-help-people-who-live-with-alzheimer-not-fade-away/

#mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; }
/* Add your own MailChimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block.
We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */

Subscribe to MAS now & get 5 free PDFs & a page of welcome links:

Email Address

Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Tips, tools & skills, Toward better care, Videos

example of how arguing escalates conflict with people who live with dementia and how to fix it

My Alzheimer's Story

crusaders-fighting-cropped-painterly

Imagine this:

It’s a bitterly cold winter night. You have recently been drafted into the role of caring for your mother who has dementia. You are in her house in the country, miles from the nearest town. She is convinced she’s in a bad hotel and she wants to go home. You argue for several hours. In the end, she begins to get physically aggressive. She tries to break a window when you block her from getting out the door. What do you do?

This is what happened with Mom and I on Christmas Eve 2011:

How did I eventually get to the calm in the last bit of the audio? By using the concepts I later used to develop the BANGS model outlined here:

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/12/08/5-surefire-ways-to-stop-anger-and-aggression-in-people-who-live-with-alzheimers-disease-in-the-mid-and-later-stages/

#mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; }
/* Add your own MailChimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block.
We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */

Subscribe to MAS now & get 5 free PDFs & a page of welcome links:

Email Address

Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Tips, tools & skills, Toward better care

5 psyche-saving tips for dementia care partners

My Alzheimer's Story

“What is the best way for a family to deal with the parent who has dementia?” someone asked me on Quora. Tough question. I continue to learn new things every single day on this journey; it would take hundreds of posts to share it all (I’m working on them!).

My top five best pieces of advice to that Quora questioner on that particular night were:

1 ) open your eyes

Reject the myth that you are losing the person; the person at their core remains until her/his spirit leaves the body when s/he dies. I wrote a poem about some of that here: i see you, i love you, i miss you, and there are some hands-on/practical ideas here: 7 ways to honour living and dying with dementia. Knowing that person is still there will save you needless grief, loss and pain. And the truth is they ARE still there.

2 ) be respectful

Treat the person who is living with dementia with the respect they deserve as your parent, spouse, sibling; do not condescend or infantalize them. They are still there and they have the same rights and freedoms you do. See more here: The 12 tenets of the Dementia Bill of Rights. The more respectful you are, even if it’s in the face of verbal abuse that comes from the disease, the better you will feel about yourself, and the better you feel about yourself the better you will feel about them, and…(you see where I’m going with this?)

3 ) ask good questions

If and when s/he doesn’t recognize you anymore ask yourself important questions before you decide it isn’t important to see or visit s/he any more. Here are some starters to get you thinking: 20 great questions to ask when a loved one with dementia doesn’t recognize you anymore. Do not, I repeat: DO NOT, let yourself fall into the trap of the ego that says it’s important for them to recognize you. What is important is for them to feel love. And they will if you love them regardless of whether they know your face, which they probably do BTW, or remember your name.

4 ) put yourself in their shoes

Do not ascribe behaviours to the disease that are in fact natural and normal responses to the environment and the way we mistakenly treat people who have dementia. More on that here: 29 normal behaviours you could be sedated for. Ask yourself what you would do if you had to a walk a mile in their shoes. And I highly recommend you take this survey.

5 ) ask more good questions

If your parent with dementia becomes aggressive, anxious and/or impatient, ask yourself why that might be. Here are some questions I asked myself that helped me to be a better caregiver to my care partner: 20 questions that help explain why people with dementia get agitated and physically aggressive (See more about asking good questions in my blog post 20 questions for better care on The Caregiver Network).

These may seem to be focused on the person on the receiving end of your care, and to a certain degree they are. BUT, and it’s a big BUT, I learned from experience that the easier it is on them, the easier it is on us. And as care partners, we need to make sure we aren’t drowning in frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness, because when that happens there’s often no one there to save our souls.

Do you have tips to share based on your experience? Feel free to share in the comments.

#mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; }
/* Add your own MailChimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block.
We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */

Subscribe to MAS now & get 5 free PDFs & a page of welcome links:

Email Address

//s3.amazonaws.com/downloads.mailchimp.com/js/mc-validate.js(function($) {window.fnames = new Array(); window.ftypes = new Array();fnames[0]=’EMAIL’;ftypes[0]=’email’;fnames[1]=’FNAME’;ftypes[1]=’text’;fnames[2]=’LNAME’;ftypes[2]=’text’;}(jQuery));var $mcj = jQuery.noConflict(true);

Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Copyright: guidenop / 123RF Stock Photo

Activities, Inspiration, Life & Living, Tips, tools & skills, Toward better care, Videos

dachshund demos 7 person-centered care tips

My Alzheimer's Story

Dachshund demos person-centered care copy

Isn’t it amazing that many animals know intuitively what some humans seem unable to learn or unwilling to apply?

Here are a few person-centered dementia care partner tips inspired by a viral video of two friends taking a walk:

1) Do stuff they like, together

2) Focus on capacities

3) Adjust your pace

4) Be supportive

5) Be patient

6) Exercise

7) Love