Tag: Dr. Mike Harlos

Advocacy, Death & Dying, Life & Living

3 things to know when you can’t be with someone you love as they are dying

My Alzheimer's Story

Palliative care physician Dr. Mike Harlos gives advice to other palliative care doctors and nurses on how to best support people who are dying, as well as their family members and friends who may be going through the process with them. I love Dr. Harlos’s wisdom and gentle manner, which I have also featured here, and here I wish I had known of these videos before I sat by my mother’s side as she took her final breaths.

According to Dr. Harlos, there are three important things people should remember if they can’t be with a loved when he or she is dying:

  1. Not being in the room at the time of death does not mean you are absent at the time of death
  2. You are connected in spirit and in soul to the people you love
  3. Connection does not require physical proximity

When a family can’t be be present at the death from Canadian Virtual Hospice on Vimeo.

 

3 wise thoughts on being with someone you love as they die, which also apply to being with someone with dementia as they live

understanding the suffering associated with dying

dying with my mom

 

#mc_embed_signup{background:#fff; clear:left; font:14px Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; }
/* Add your own MailChimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block.
We recommend moving this block and the preceding CSS link to the HEAD of your HTML file. */

Subscribe to MAS now & get 5 free PDFs & a page of welcome links:

Email Address

Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Image copyright: grinvalds / 123RF Stock Photo

Death & Dying, Love, Spirituality

3 wise thoughts on being with someone you love as they die, which also apply to being with someone with dementia as they live

My Alzheimer's Story

In the three short videos below palliative care physician Dr. Mike Harlos gives advice aimed at other palliative care doctors and nurses. He talks about how to communicate with family members as someone they love approaches death.

But I think there’s something for all of us learn from his gentle wisdom on how to interact with those who find themselves at the side of someone they love as that person dies. It also struck me that what Dr. Harlos says applies equally to people who live with dementia who many others think are “gone” long before the actually are.

In these three short videos (each is less than three minutes long), Dr. Harlos shares simple pieces of practical advice with respect to communication:

  1. Assume they can hear you
  2. Take it out of the room
  3. Make space for final conversations

I invite you to watch and listen, and hope you will be as deeply touched by Dr. Harlos’s words as I was/am. Just listening to his voice at once calmed me, and brought me to tears. As I watched the videos, I  felt as if I were in the presence of an angel, albeit an earthbound one for the moment. I might have made the experience of dying with my mom more beautiful and meaningful had I been exposed to the Canadian Virtual Hospice before her death instead of after.

1 ) Assume they can hear you

Conversations at the bedside: Can my loved one still hear me? from Canadian Virtual Hospice on Vimeo.

2 ) Take it out of the room

Conversations at the bedside: Being mindful of what is said from Canadian Virtual Hospice on Vimeo.

3 ) Make space for final conversations

Giving space for final conversations from Canadian Virtual Hospice on Vimeo.

I wrote a poem about my final moments with my mom; it’s here.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2018/04/27/understanding-the-suffering-associated-with-dying/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/08/20/dying-with-my-mom/

Subscribe to MAS now & get 5 free PDFs & a page of welcome links:

Email Address

Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Image copyright: bialasiewicz / 123RF Stock Photo