Tag: care partnering

Another Quora question and answer I thought it might be useful to share to help others.

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Whatever you do, don’t tell them to calm down! Everyone hates being told what to do, including people who live with dementia day in and day out.

A good strategy is to not make them feel anxious in the first place, and then you won’t have to calm them down. To do that, try my BANGS approach:

BANGS: 5 surefire ways to stop aggression before it starts

There’s a big myth out there that dementia causes the people who live with it to be anxious when it’s actually a whole bunch of other stuff that, in most cases, lies behind the words and actions they use to communicate and that those around them find challenging.

For example:

101 potential causes of behaviour by people living with dementia that institutional care staff may find challenging

Avoid noise (among other things):

loud sounds and dementia mostly don’t mix

Also, ask yourself these questions, and based on your own responses, adjust your behaviour accordingly:

20 questions that help explain why people with dementia get agitated and physically aggressive

And if you don’t manage to avoid a crisis, here’s what to do in case of one:

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

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Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

Teepa Snow demos 10 first steps to calm & comfort a distressed person living with dementia

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Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Someone asked me this question on Quora. I thought it might be useful to share my reply here as well so others might be helped with the information.

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How difficult it is depends in large part on you, the care partner.

If a care partner is devastated and grieving over the fact the person they love who is living with dementia doesn’t recognize them, I think she or he will find it much more difficult and stressful to provide good, loving, compassionate care.

On the other hand, if the care partner can let go of his or her ego, and understand that being recognized by name or by face is really not that important, then I believe he or she will have a much easier time as a care partner. She or he will be less stressed, more relaxed, more loving and compassionate, more open to going with the flow, and more able to find joy, happiness and fun.

These two links expand on the idea:

it doesn’t matter if they know you or not

20 great questions to ask when a loved one with dementia doesn’t recognize you anymore

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Take my short survey on behaviour here.