Care Partnering, Challenges & Solutions, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow shares 10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hallucination surreal scene
People who live with dementia may see “strange” things we don’t

 

It can be disturbing, even frightening, for both a person living with dementia (PLWD) and her or his care partner when the PLWD has hallucinations.

We are taught that hallucinations are abnormal, the hallmarks of “crazy people,” and witnessing someone having hallucinations for no apparent reason is unsettling. It’s important to first check whether the hallucinations may be caused by physical factors such as a urinary tract infection (UTI). They may also be a side effect of a wide variety of medications, a combination of medications, or over medication. Investigate these potential causes.

Also, remember that mistaking one thing for another is not  “hallucinating.” For example, confusing the telephone with the TV remote is not a hallucination–it’s a misperception. If you stay calm and act normally when a PLWD has a hallucination, you can help reduce her or his anxiety (as well as your own) and keep everything on an even keel.

Imagine this for example:

Cricket and her mother Annie are alone in the kitchen of Annie’s house. They’re chopping carrots for supper. Annie is in the “amber” stage of dementia; she turns to Cricket.

“Where did the girls go?” Annie says.

“What girls Mom?”

“The two girls that were here.”

Cricket and Annie have been alone in the house for at least a week; they haven’t had any visitors during that time. “When Mom?” Cricket asks for clarification. “Two or three minutes ago!” Annie sounds annoyed. “Don’t be so stupid Cricket.”

Back in the early days, when Cricket was still a wet-behind-the-ears care partner, she would try to convince Annie that whatever other reality her mother was experiencing was not real. Cricket soon learned this approach didn’t work; it invariably ended in an argument. Cricket decided to change her behaviour. Thus:

“Oh, those girls, now I know who you mean Mom,” Cricket’s tone is calm and even.

“Well, where did they go?” Annie is still annoyed.

“I think they had an appointment. It was kind of rude of them to leave without saying goodbye wasn’t it?”

“It sure was.” Annie shakes her head.

“There’s no accounting for some people’s behaviour eh Mom?”

“No. It’s the last time I invite them here.”

“Good idea, Mom.”

In this example, Cricket defused the situation rather than fuelling it or escalating into an argument. She also turned her mother’s anger away from herself and redirected it toward the imaginary girls against whom she and her mother then became “allies.”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Going with the flow works wonders, but it takes awareness and practice. Here are some hands-on tips that can help:

  1. approach the PLWD’s preferred side
  2. verbally greet the PLWD
  3. move into PLWD’s personal space when invited
  4. use Hand Under Hand™
  5. repeat/agree/validate
  6. repeat/agree/validate
  7. take control of the situation
  8. allow the PLWD “off the hook”
  9. go with the flow
  10. repeat/agree/validate as required

Watch  dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow demonstrate in this short video:

 

 

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7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

Teepa Snow 7 care partner basics

When I began my journey as an Alzheimer’s dementia care partner, I knew nothing. If only I had known then what I know now. There are many more resources available than there were when I began caring for my mom full-time, and a whole new way of thinking about the disease and the people who live with it is emerging to empower us all.

Here are seven “how to get started” tips based on Teepa Snow‘s Positive Approach to Care:

1) Learn more about the disease

Learn what it’s going to do. Learn what it’s not going to do. Learn the basics. Dementia isn’t just about memory loss. The many forms of dementia are caused by brain changes that impact a person’s capacity to process information and do things. People living with dementia have different life skills. Their abilities change as the condition changes.

2) See it as a journey

Dementia is not static. Like life, it’s constantly evolving, changing, and morphing into something new. Smart people understand that it’s a “journey,” and it’s likely to be a fairly long one – think marathon, not sprint. You’re not just going away for the weekend, it’s more like moving to a new country.

3) Don’t be a Lone Ranger

It’s hard work being a care partner with someone who lives with dementia. It’s not a one-person job. It takes a team. Care partners need as much support as people living with dementia do. Ask for assistance. Seek resources. Put the oxygen on yourself first. Get an army of help. If family won’t help, find friends who will. If you don’t have friends who will, explore every other avenue you can. You can’t do it alone. Don’t try.

4) Learn “positive approach to care” skills

I know from experience this is one of the most important things. I self-taught myself as I went, but things would’ve been much easier if I knew then what I know now. In particular, the more you know how to deal with challenging behaviours in a positive and constructive way the less stressful and difficult your journey will be.

5) Become a care PARTNER

You will make lots of mistakes. That’s okay. But don’t keep doing something that doesn’t work over and over again and expect to get different results. If something doesn’t work, you need to change what you’re doing, because the person with dementia isn’t going to change their behaviour to fit your needs – you have to change to fit theirs!

6) Find resources

I highly recommend Teepa Snow’s videos many of which are available for free online and some of which may be purchased here. Likewise, Alzheimer’s non-profits around the world provide valuable information and support.

7) Learn the art of letting go

More about that here: the “G” in BANGS: five great ways to stop dimension anger, aggression and anxiety in their tracks.

MORE “QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/06/09/10-teepa-snow-videos-on-dementia-basics/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/08/28/teepa-snow-demos-10-ways-to-calm-a-crisis-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

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Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

Care Partnering, Challenges & Solutions, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

20 expert tips for the driving dilemma conversation

 

Two of the biggest among the multitude challenges facing many Alzheimer’s dementia care partners are:

  1. “I want to go home.”
  2. trying to get a person with dementia who can no longer drive safely to stop driving

This post is about how to get a loved one to give up their car keys. Why? Because we all want to avoid head-on collisions (and BANGS) both off and on the road.

Top tip #1:

DO NOT attempt the “driving conversation” on your own with a loved one living with dementia.

 Instead, do this:

  1.  Enlist the help of an “expert” outsider whom your loved one respects
  2. Ask the expert to watch the Teepa Snow video below BEFORE the conversation
  3. Give the expert the list of “Tips for Conducting the Driving Dilemma Conversation” (you can download the PDF at the link below the video)
  4. Do a practice role play with your expert (you act the part of your loved one)
  5. Identify pitfalls, develop responses to use with the tips below

Tips for the expert whom you will enlist to conduct the driving dilemma conversation (see disclaimer):

  1. Create a connection
  2. Use “hand under hand”
  3. Make eye contact
  4. Identify the issue
  5. Flag the emotion
  6. Acknowledge competence
  7. Ask questions
  8. Praise & agree
  9. Show you know what they value
  10. Understand their position
  11. Invite them to consider consequences
  12. Offer options
  13. Build self esteem
  14. Be respectful
  15. Be on their side (against common “enemies”)
  16. Accept and value their input
  17. Identify external threats
  18. Offer solutions
  19. Give support
  20. Be a partner

See how many of the 20 tips you can spot in Teepa’s video:

 

 

You must give all of this information (i.e. the tips and the video) to the “expert” BEFORE the conversation, because even experts need support to get the job done. Success depends on a team effort.

Key words/questions:

Could we try?

What do you think?

As Teepa suggests:

“Use what you know about their values and what is important to them to help them make hard choices.”

Download 20 Tips for the Driving Dilemma Conversation

Find more great tips here.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

Like this post? Subscribe to my free updates here.

Care Partnering, Challenges & Solutions, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home.”

Teepa 13 home tips pic painterly

One of the greatest challenges dementia care partners face is “I want to go home.”

People with dementia often “want to go home,” even when they are in a place they may have lived for years.

It’s frustrating for the person with dementia who is convinced he or she needs to be somewhere else. It’s also frustrating for the care partner who doesn’t have dementia because there seems to be no way to solve the problem.

We would gladly take people with dementia “home” if only we could. Sadly, we can’t because the place they want to go exists only in the reality of their minds.

But we CAN:

  1. find creative ways to deal with these situations when they arise
  2. employ strategies that reduce the stress, anxiety and pain of the “going home” problem.

Here are 13 tips that will help defuse “I want to go home” (see disclaimer):

  1. Don’t argue
  2. Try something different
  3. Agree and validate
  4. Say you’re sorry
  5. Build self-esteem
  6. Offer incentives
  7. Create collaboration
  8. Give reasons to be “here”
  9. Remember: we are the same
  10. Remember: their filter is gone
  11. Remember: value and purpose
  12. Think! How can you work together?
  13. Role play and practice

In the video below, dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow teaches a care worker a better way of handling “I want to go home” (the demo starts at about 1:15 and finishes at about 7:00):

There are more great tips here. And this is how I imagine it might feel for a person living with dementia in a long-term care facility as they experience wanting to go home.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/04/19/20-questions-that-help-explain-why-people-with-dementia-get-agitated-and-physically-aggressive/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/11/25/101-potential-causes-of-behaviours-by-people-living-with-dementia-that-institutional-care-staff-may-find-challenging/

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Take my short survey on behaviour here.

Challenges & Solutions, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

Teepa Snow calms crisis no video

When people feel trapped and terrified, they get agitated, anxious, and sometimes aggressive. It’s normal behaviour for human beings to lash out when they feel threatened, whether they have dementia or not.

Unfortunately, many people who care for people living with dementia (PLWD), including family, friends, healthcare personnel and caregivers, blame this normal behaviour on the disease rather than finding and addressing the real underlying causes.

More often than not, something in the environment or in the way the person with dementia is being treated or approached prompts the aggressive behaviour, which is in fact a perfectly normal response to something the PLWD may perceive as a threat of some kind.

In the video below, dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow tells the story of de-escalating a situation in which an 89-year-old woman with dementia became violent when care facility staff and EMS personnel tried to get her onto a gurney.

I have personally gone through similar events. At the time, I had no idea what to do. I have since seen others in versions of the same scenario; it’s clear they either don’t know what to do or if they do know what to do they aren’t doing it.

Teepa thin banner

Instead of blaming the PWLD and the disease and then “drugging them up” as Snow says in the video, we need to learn how to:

1) prevent crises from happening in the first place

2) de-escalate if and when they occur despite our best efforts

Here are 10 techniques anybody can use to calm a crisis in which a PLWD becomes distressed and/or aggressive (see disclaimer):

  1. Remove the threat
  2. Create space
  3. Get on her/his side
  4. Get at or below eye level
  5. Use Hand Under Hand™
  6. Breathe in sync
  7. Calm your voice
  8. Relax your body
  9. Attend to her/his needs
  10. Be willing to go where he/she is

Learn how to put the tips into practice by watching this five-minute video with Teepa Snow:

More here:

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/06/09/10-teepa-snow-videos-on-dementia-basics/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/12/08/5-surefire-ways-to-stop-anger-and-aggression-in-people-who-live-with-alzheimers-disease-in-the-mid-and-later-stages/

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Care Partnering, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow demos Hand Under Hand™ dementia care to connect, comfort and “control”

Teepa Snow demos hand under hand
Dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow
has developed a simple technique that anyone (i.e you and me) can easily learn and use to help connect with as well as comfort a person with dementia.

Using the technique, which Snow calls “Hand Under Hand™,” can also help dementia care partners “take control” of situations before they get out of hand. (Pun intended!)

It’s also important and helpful to position yourself below the eye level of the person with dementia. If you do only these two simple things (get down and use Hand Under Hand™), life will be much easier on everyone. Guaranteed.

Teepa thin banner

 

Remember: the purpose is to control the situation, not the person. Dementia care partners are in the process together: always do whatever you can to respect the independence, rights and dignity of the person with dementia.

In the video below, Snow demonstrates how to used Hand Under Hand™ as part of the process of helping someone to bathe.

But Hand Under Hand™ can be used in multiple ways: to help someone to eat, to walk, or even to calm down in a crisis.

I learned this technique in early 2015 when I began the process of becoming a PAC Certified Trainer.  I know it works  because I use it myself. I only wish it had been part of my tool kit from the start. I chose not to recertify with PAC in 2016, but I’m still a huge Teepa fan and embrace all of her techniques.

 

 

Related links:

More Teepa Snow on MyAlzheimersStory

10+ Teepa Snow videos on the basics of dementia care

Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

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Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow 3

I wish I had known about dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow and her practical tools and techniques 10 years ago. But I didn’t.

I’m glad I do now and that I’m able to share her wisdom with people who are starting or who are in the midst of or even at the end of their care partnering journey. We all need all the help we can get and Teepa’s tools and tips are spot on. I created this list to enable myself and you to access her videos in sequence. Enjoy the learning. Even better, put it into practice!

BASICS

What is Dementia?

The Ten Early Signs of Dementia

7 Elements of A Proper Dementia Diagnosis

6 GEMS(TM)  outshine every stage from the inside out

 

“QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

 

CARE PARTNERING DURING VISITS

Making Visits Valuable Part 1: Breathe

Making Visits Valuable Part 2: Senses

Making Visits Valuable Part 3: Taste and Pills

Making Visits Valuable Part 4: It Starts With You

Making Visits Valuable Part 5: Movement and rhythm of speech

Making Visits Valuable Part 6: The Promise, Take Me Home, Things go Missing

 

You may also purchase Teepa Snow’s DVDs here.

Dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow’s website.

More Teepa Snow on MyAlzheimersStory.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/08/28/teepa-snow-demos-10-ways-to-calm-a-crisis-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/02/28/7-dementia-care-partner-basics-from-teepa-snow/

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Teepa Snow’s 7 powerful things a care partner can say to stop anger and aggression in a person with dementia

Scroll down to watch video

One of the most useful things I’ve learned on this dementia journey is that when people who live with dementia exhibit responsive behaviours which appear angry and/or aggressive there’s usually a perfectly reasonable and rational explanation for it – from their point of view.

Such behaviour is not random (although it may appear to be), it’s not willful (although it may appear to be), and it’s not their fault (although it may appear to be).

“Problematic” responsive behaviour is most often the result of:

The obvious way to stop anger and aggression is to address the root cause:

  • Find and address the physical issue
  • Identify and remove the environmental trigger(s)
  • Stop blaming them and start taking responsibility for causing responsive behaviours

In the third instance, dementia care expert Teepa Snow suggests learning, practicing and using these six simple phrases to acknowledge the person, accept responsibility, diffuse the situation, restore positive energy and create the opportunity for healing.

  • “I’m sorry I was trying to help.”
  • “I’m sorry I made you angry.”
  • “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”
  • “I’m sorry I made you feel stupid.”
  • “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, but I treated you like a child.”
  • “I’m sorry, this is really hard.”

Meaning what you say when you say these phrases is important. Putting yourself in their shoes is helpful. Ask yourself these 20 questions to imagine what they might be feeling.

You can experience the power of the statements in the video below in which Teepa plays the part of a care partner, and the woman in the light blue top plays the part of a person living with dementia.

I know these words work because I have said them many times myself.

I would add one more phrase: “You’re right. I’m sorry, I was wrong.

Telling the other person they are right is extraordinarily powerful. It’s like throwing a big wet blanket on a small campfire – it smothers the flames immediately. Clearly the wet blanket will be less effective on a towering inferno; you must stop the fire before it gets out of control.

An even more effective strategy is to not do things that are helpful in intent but not helpful in reality, and to not do or say things that embarrass, demean, patronize or anger the person to start with! Then there’s no need to apologize 🙂

“I’m sorry” isn’t easy for most people to say. It’s even more difficult for family care partners with all kinds of goop in the relationship soup. But they work. They really do. Why? Because “suddenly you’re in a different place than you were. And that’s because you were willing to do something different.” If you want to change the dance, you’ve got to change the steps.

See also:

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/06/09/10-teepa-snow-videos-on-dementia-basics/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/08/28/teepa-snow-demos-10-ways-to-calm-a-crisis-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

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Joy, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

6 GEMS(TM) from Teepa Snow outshine every stage from the inside out

Gemstones

To help us understand dementia, experts have come up with ways of describing different phases of the disease:

1) The Alzheimer’s Scale (3 stages): mild, moderate, late.

2) Four-Stage Model (4 stages): early, middle, late, end-of-life.

3) Global deterioration (7 stages): no impairment, very mild decline, mild decline, moderate decline, moderately severe decline, severe decline, and very severe decline. (Keep those sorted one from the other if you can!)

These scales and descriptors focus almost exclusively on decline and loss rather than on the richness of the human experience.

At best, they set us up to see the glass half empty rather than half full; at worst they foster the belief that people with dementia are on a journey that is nothing more than a long slow, tortuous train through hell – a journey in which they are robbed of their very selves as they disappear into a black hole of oblivion.

This overwhelmingly negative perspective is an injustice to people who live with dementia, and is problematic in all kinds of other ways. Among them:

  • It goes hand-in-hand with the traditional biomedical model of the disease, which in itself creates a multitude of care issues.
  • It results in people treating people with dementia in demeaning and unhelpful ways.
  • It causes family, friends, and caregivers to suffer more loss, pain and grief than they need to.

No wonder we are all so terrified of this “horrible” disease!

But it doesn’t have to be like this. I know because I have discovered treasures amidst what many see as tragedy. One simple way to transform the way we see the disease and the people who live with it is to use a positive approach centered on people’s humanity and on what they can do rather than on what they can’t.

Dementia care expert Teepa Snow suggests a wonderful model that does exactly that.

Adapted from Claudia Allen’s Cognitive Disability Theory, Teepa’s GEMS™ revolve around remaining abilities rather than capacity losses.

It’s a much more hopeful and helpful lens through which to see the disease and those who live with it and it provides a framework in which we can support and encourage people with dementia to live enriching lives until the end.

The GEMS™ model uses sapphires, diamonds, emeralds, amber, rubies, and pearls to help us better understand people with dementia, their behaviour and how we might choose to respond.

I find the analogy of a pearl in an oyster shell to describe the last phase of life with dementia to be especially beautiful and fitting.

If what you think you see is an ugly shell, remember to look deeper: “the most important thing is what’s inside.”

Teepa Snow explains her GEMS(TM) model here:

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home.”

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

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5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

Teepa Snow's top 5 dementia care tips
Teepa Snow
is simply amazing. I wish I had known of her tools and techniques years ago; I could have created a less stressful and more peaceful journey for myself and my care partner.

These are five great tips for anyone in a care partnering relationship with someone with dementia. Teepa expands on each one in the short video at the end of this post.

1) Step back first

Before you do anything, take stock of what’s going on in the environment, observe the person and their behaviour, be mindful of the moment in time – forget about what happened an hour ago or yesterday. The reality of a person with dementia can be extraordinarily dynamic. Ask yourself what is going on for them now, at this particular point in time, before you say or do anything. (See also: 1) the “B” in BANGS; and 2)  the “A” in BANGS)

2) Respond don’t react

It’s easy to get caught up in reacting to other people and in the process behave in ways that are unproductive. With the help of a counsellor as well as by teaching myself through experience, I learned to look at my own reactions to “problematic” responsive behaviours which I discovered I often provoked myself! That was an eye opener I can tell you.

Once I identified that I was part of the problem, I was able to respond in much more helpful ways and thus become part of the solution. (See also: the “A” in BANGS)

3) Have a flexible plan

Yes, we need to fill the day with activities, meals, quiet time, etc. But, and it’s a BIG but, it’s critical to be flexible. The plan we have may not fit with the changing minute-to-minute wants, needs and desires of the person with dementia. Plans are good guidelines. They fail when we try to stick to them at all costs. Better to go with the flow. (See also: the “G” in BANGS)

4) Know about control

Remember you cannot control anyone else’s behaviour, especially someone with dementia whose ability to use reason and logic may be significantly reduced. The only person’s behaviour you can control is your own. Teach yourself to behave in ways that reduce anxiety for yourself and the person with dementia. (See also: the “A” in BANGS)

5) Stop doing what doesn’t work

This reminds me of a relationship tip I read years ago and am still trying to internalize: “You can’t change the dance if you don’t change the steps.” It took me awhile to learn that arguing with a person who is living with dementia does not work. Full stop. There’s no point contradicting or disagreeing. Once I stopped doing that, everything started to go much more smoothly. (See also: the “N” in BANGS)

You can learn practical skills, tools and techniques by watching Teepa Snow’s videos on YouTube or by buying her practical caregiver tips videos here. They are amazing. Truly. I only wish I had known about Teepa’s techniques ten years ago.

More Teepa tips here:

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/06/09/10-teepa-snow-videos-on-dementia-basics/

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