Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Toward better care

surprising teepa care partner tip for when people keep repeating same old stories

Yes, it can be tiresome listening to someone who is living in the early and middle “stages” of dementia tell you the same old stories over and over again.

When you feel worn out by repetition, it can be helpful to remember these three things:

  1. The person living with dementia is likely trying to create a connection with you through story telling. She is reaching out in one of the joyful ways she knows how: by sharing some of herself or her life.
  2. The person living with dementia likey doesn’t remember he has told you that same story before. To him it’s fresh and new.
  3. Storytelling, conversation and connection are great ways to preserve a sense of self and to get brain cells firing, both of which are good for the well-being of us all, including people living with dementia.

In the powerful video below, Teeepa Snow demonstrates in just a few minutes how to keep conversations going with a short and simple phrase that will create engagement instead of cutting people off and potentially creating ill will and disconnection.

Teepa’s counterintuitive tip? Say: “Tell me more…”

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

25 dementia communication quick tips in 4 minutes!

 

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Challenges & Solutions, Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

teepa snow shows how to help someone living with dementia to put on a jacket or sweater without resistance

Image credit: Teepa Snow (screen shot from the video below)

“If only I had known,” is what I say to myself every time I see a Teepa Snow demo I haven’t seen before. This one was no exception when I first stumbled across it.

I had very few problems helping my mom get dressed. But how many times did I watch care workers struggle to do the same? Too many that’s how many! When I saw Teepa demo how easy it can be in the video below, I again wondered why EVERYONE who cares in some way for someone who lives with dementia isn’t trained in Teepa’s practical, positive approaches to care.

People who live with dementia “resist” receiving care for good reason: because, more often than not, we don’t know how to do things in ways that make them feel at ease.

Just watch the five-minute video below on how to help someone living with dementia put on a jacket or sweater in such a way that both care partners can feel good about what’s going on, and see if you don’t agree. I guarantee you will discover something you didn’t know or hadn’t thought of before.

Learn a few dead-easy techniques (including Teepa’s trademarked Hand Under Hand) that may help transform your life from misery to magic:

More here:

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow demos Hand Under Hand™ dementia care to connect, comfort and “control”

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

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Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow demos 10 first steps to calm & comfort a distressed person living with dementia

This four-and-a-half minute video by Teepa Snow (see below) demonstrates 10 easy steps to calm and comfort a distressed person living with dementia.

Truth be told, these practical actions would likely help calm and comfort anyone in distress:

  1. position yourself on the person’s dominant side
  2. useHand Under Hand™ (HUH™ video demo with Teepa here)
  3. pump hand you are holding (like a heartbeat)
  4. copy their breathing with emphasis on the exhale
  5. repeat issue using their words
  6. acknowledge & validate their emotions (more on validation here)
  7. mirror their emotional state
  8. calm & slow your own voice
  9. slow your breathing, continue emphasis on exhale (more on breathing here)
  10. check / confirm issue (e.g. you’re angry?)

These are also great:

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow demos 10 ways to calm a crisis with a person living with Alzheimer’s / dementia

10 things to remember when you interact with people who forget

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Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

7 teepa tips to help people with dementia do what they can to care

Mom & Pia Roma in a tête-à-tête on May 9, 2013

Mom adored her cat Pia Roma; she came to live with Mom in her big red brick house on the hill sometime after 2001. In the mornings, Pia and Mom delighted in having tea for two. But as Mom’s dementia progressed, it got harder for her to care for her beloved Pia. Twice when I came home from Dubai in 2010, I found breakfast cereal instead of cat food in Pia’s dish.

“When you develop dementia you don’t lose your interest in providing care,” says  dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow, although, as she points out, you may lose some of the skills it takes to do it, just like my mom did.

Caring for other living beings such as a child, a spouse, a friend, a pet, or even the birds outside, as well as caring for the things around you such as your home, your yard, your plants, or whatever brings you pleasure, gives meaning to your life. The desire to care for others and for things doesn’t diminish with dementia.

Here are some specific tips and a video from Teepa Snow on helping people who are living with dementia to care, and thus to keep purpose and meaning alive every day:

  1. provide guidance appropriate to what kind of GEM the person is
  2. observe the person’s behaviour closely for clues
  3. use visual cues (e.g. point, demonstrate, model)
  4. use verbal cues (i.e. say what might be done, make suggestions, give gentle instructions)
  5. break activities up into smaller tasks / “windows”
  6. do “with,” not “for’ or “to”
  7. support PLWD in what they want to do, what they like to do and what they need to do

MORE “QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

Teepa’s GEMS outshine all the stages

10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia basics

Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

Take a short survey on behaviour here.

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Resources, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

Teepa Snow is on the go!

I wish I had known about dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow and her practical tools and techniques when I first began my journey with dementia care. But I didn’t.

Teepa has probably done more to change the face of dementia care than anyone else in the world. Her videos have been viewed and shared by hundreds of thousands of people – for a reason. Because they’re great: full of practical tips and advice for care partners, both professional and unpaid.

I created this video to honour Teepa on her May 9 birthday in 2017. This poem is a one-minute tongue-in-cheek tribute to her and her work. Below it are links to her videos on YouTube, her site TeepaSnow.com, and this blog.  I hope you find them useful.

We all need all the help we can get and Teepa’s tools and tips are spot on. I created this list to enable myself and you to access her videos in sequence. Enjoy the learning. Even better, put it into practice!

BASICS

What is Dementia?

The Ten Early Signs of Dementia

7 Elements of A Proper Dementia Diagnosis

6 GEMS(TM)  outshine every stage from the inside out

 

“QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

 

CARE PARTNERING DURING VISITS

Making Visits Valuable Part 1: Breathe

Making Visits Valuable Part 2: Senses

Making Visits Valuable Part 3: Taste and Pills

Making Visits Valuable Part 4: It Starts With You

Making Visits Valuable Part 5: Movement and rhythm of speech

Making Visits Valuable Part 6: The Promise, Take Me Home, Things go Missing

 

You may also purchase Teepa Snow’s DVDs here.

Dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow’s website.

More Teepa Snow on MyAlzheimersStory.

Subscribe to my updates here.

Image copyright: maridav / 123RF Stock Photo

Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills

Teepa’s top 10 ten holiday tips plus 10 more from me (and three PDFs!)

Yes, holidays are special times, but they can also be stressful on many people, particularly people who find themselves alone, or people who live with dementia.

Here are 10 simple “visitor do’s” from dementia care pioneer Teepa Snow for those who might not be accustomed to spending time with someone with dementia but who will be visiting during the festive season:

  1. Start with a smile and a handshake
  2. Introduce yourself by name, even if you think the person with dementia knows you well
  3. Use short phrases; pause between thoughts and ideas
  4. Talk about old times
  5. Talk about happy events and memories (say “I remember,” NOT “do you remember?)
  6. Accept general comments, don’t delve too deep
  7. Be prepared for repetition
  8. Do something with the person instead of just talking
  9. Go with the flow of the conversation
  10. Stay calm

Share this link or download Teepa’s tips below, and send them to your holiday visitors BEFORE they arrive for their visit. The PDF includes 10 tips for people with dementia as well as 10 tips for care partners; it’s a great resource. Also, Teepa’s Holiday GEMS will help you better understand how to engage your loved one with dementia wherever they are in the disease process. You can also download the GEMS(TM) PDF at the end of this post.

Besides these great Teepa Snow tips, here are 10 Festive Dementia “Don’ts” from MyAlzheimersStory:

  1. Don’t argue. Ever.
  2. Don’t ask if they remember you
  3. Don’t be disappointed if they don’t recognize you
  4. Don’t ask them if they remember specific people, things or events. Instead, talk about the people, things or events yourself and let them join in
  5. Don’t treat them in ways you wouldn’t want to be treated yourself
  6. Don’t exclude them from activities
  7. Don’t talk about them as if they aren’t there when they’re right there beside you
  8. Don’t pity or patronize them
  9. Don’t forget they are people just like you
  10. Don’t focus on what they can’t do; celebrate the things they can

These tips work anytime; you can use them all year round.

Here are the download gifts from me to you:

Merry Christmas!

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/12/23/an-alzheimers-dementia-christmas-story/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/12/06/santa-claus-lives-with-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/12/29/im-glad-christmas-is-over/

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Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

10+ smart dance tips for dementia care partners

Many of the challenges care partners face are not unique. They are similar to those we face daily in a variety of disciplines as well as in day-to-day living. This means potential solutions to problems are everywhere. Tips, tools and ideas abound. Identifying and applying them to caring can help make our work less stressful and more joyful.

When I stumbled upon Be a Smart Dancer: 10 Qualities of Smart Dancers on Ballet Shoes & Bobby Pins, I was struck by how the qualities of “smart” dancers might apply equally to care partners. I tweaked some of the actions and offer them here in condensed form as “10 smart dance tips for better dementia care.”

 

1) relate to space

Understand that you dance in a three-dimensional world. Smart dancers know about body directions and how they relate to space. Being spatially aware means you know how to use your space, how to travel upstage, downstage, stage right and stage left. You know not to stand too close to other dancers. You understand how a combination (of steps and moves) will travel so that you can properly set up, and not run out of room before being able to finish the combination. Spatially aware dancers don’t collide with other dancers or get in their way.

Hold space and make space for yourself, your care partner and others around you.

 

2) stay focused

Smart dancers know how to focus and find their centers–even on bad days. Through exhaustion and frustration, smart dancers pull it together under pressure. They are ready for anything at any moment. If a choreographer needs them to perform a role because someone is injured, they are ready. They push are able to push the chaos away and focus on the current space and time. Smart dancers know how to override stresses to get the job done.

When all hell breaks loose, find a way to come back to center. The triple “A”s in BANGS will help.

 

3) identify patterns

Smart dancers know the importance of identifying patterns. This helps them communicate and notate movement. When you can identify which part of the pattern you’re discussing, it helps other dancers know where in time and space you are.

Look for patterns in behaviour–your own, your care partner’s and those of others around you. Identifying patters helps determine cause and effect and creates the possibility for change.

 

4) tap into rhythm

The more you understand music and can hear rhythms inside of rhythms the more detailed, flowing and natural your dancing will become.

Even chaos has rhythm. Listen for it. Tune into it. Move with it.

 

5) observe

Pick up on details without being told.  Smart dancers watch with the intention to digest information and commit it to memory.

Keep your eyes and ears open. Be a dementia care detective.

 

6) anticipate

Think ahead so you are not in the way. Anticipation is also useful when preparing for auditions and rehearsals. You never know what is going to happen or what you will be asked to do, so you have to prepare for everything.

Understanding that “anything can happen” (and it usually does!), is an extraordinary mindfulness tool that helps caregivers be flexible and let go.

 

7) make connections

Smart dancers also know the dance world is small, and they know how to interact with different people in order to stay successful. Making connections and understanding how their bodies work and how their discipline works is what keeps them on their toes.

You are not alone. Connect with other care partners. Being isolated is lonely, depressing and counterproductive. Reach out!

 

8) develop self awareness

Smart dancers know themselves and their weaknesses. Knowing how to take care of yourself is important. Understanding how to prevent injuries or care for injuries when they occur will get you back dancing faster.

Put the oxygen on yourself first. Take breaks. Replenish. Re-energize. Realize you are not a superhero.

 

9) use diverse techniques

Smart dancers are open to learning different techniques, they actively seek out innovation and educate themselves on what is new and different in the world of dance.

Keep adding to your care partner toolbox. I highly recommend the work of Teepa Snow, Dr. Allen Power, and Naomi Feil. When one tool doesn’t work, try another.

 

10) become single minded

Smart dances understand the responsibility that falls on their shoulders to dance and dance well; to train and train hard.

Take your responsibility seriously. Do the best you can.

 

I would add one more important action to this list:

11) experience the joy of dance

I think it’s probably fair to say there are few dancers who hate dancing. Smart dancers LOVE what they do. Yes, it’s hard work. Yes, it takes practice. Yes, there are defeats as well as victories. Dancers soar; they also stumble and fall. We all do.

Look for the joy.

TOP 10 MAS “10 TIPS LISTICLES”

  1. 10 things to remember when you interact with people who forget
  2. 10 ways to use improv to improve life with alzheimers
  3. 10 tips to make the most of music in dementia care
  4. 10 things not so say to grieving mary missy taylor
  5. 10+ Teepa Snow videos on dementia-basics
  6. 10 normal ways care partners express grief
  7. 10 quick tips to help you tango not tangle
  8. 10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis
  9. 10 tips to deal with hallucinations
  10. 10 poems i didn’t want to write

 

More dance-inspired posts here.

Subscribe to my updates here.

Image copyright: mitch / 123RF Stock Photo

Care Partnering, Teepa Snow, Tips, tools & skills, Videos

10 quick tips to help you tango not tangle

Teepa Snow_ tango don't tangle

“If you want to change the dance, you’ve got to change the steps,” is a great coaching quote I learned way back when, and the most important part of the lesson is that the steps you must change are your own.

Here are 10 dance-inspired tips to help you tango instead of tangle with your dementia care partner:

  1. Let them lead
  2. Play music they like
  3. Look into their eyes
  4. Adjust your steps to fit theirs
  5. Take their hand
  6. Don’t hold on too tight
  7. Be light on your feet
  8. Guide only if and when required
  9. Relax and smile
  10. Twirl occasionally, just for fun

Teepa thin banner

Additional inspiration on the same theme with renowned Hollywood lindy hop and jitterbg dancer Jean Veloz at her 90th birthday party in 2014 (she makes it look so easy):

 

Here’s Veloz in a similar number in her “younger” days:

 

 

“QUICK AND EASY” PRACTICAL TEEPA TIPS

7 dementia care basics from Teepa Snow

5 top dementia care tips from Teepa Snow

10 ways to calm a dementia care crisis

13 expert tips to help with “I want to go home”

10 tips to deal with hallucinations

Hand Under Hand (TM) demo

More dance-inspired posts here.

Teepa Snow’s videos are available on Amazon here.

Subscribe to my updates here.

Advocacy, Quotes, Teepa Snow, Toward better care

6 ways to create better dementia care relationships

It's about relationships Teepa Snow

Here are six concrete ways I learned to forge a more positive relationship with my mom who lived with dementia. The way we approach things is often more important than getting them done. Although ironically, better relationships make it easier to get things done more efficiently and effectively.

1) listen

Open your eyes, ears, hands and heart. Be observant. Pay attention to nuances in behaviour. Listen with your whole being to what’s being said by your care partner who lives with dementia. You may be amazed that people who seem to have lost their ability to communicate can in fact make their needs known and connect at profound levels. Listen to be enriched. Listen to be more effective in how you engage.

2) agree

As I and a host of others have said many many times before and as all smart care partners eventually come to realize, it pays to agree:

Say “Yes, and…” to your care partner who lives with dementia. Go with their flow. When you do, your life and theirs will change for the better.

3) create/hold space

Make space for your care partner who lives with dementia to be who he or she is, whatever that means on the day or in the moment. Don’t try to make her or him into something she or he isn’t, and that includes wishing they were who they used to be. Remember that the core of who they are is is sill there, even though her or his self may manifest in different ways. Make space for the present and celebrate who they are in the moment. (More about that here.)

4) take care of yourself

Caring for yourself is vital. That means doing whatever it takes to find support, get respite, and have time away from your care partnering role. “Put the oxygen on yourself first,” everyone says – and for good reason! Your health is critical to your own and your care partner’s well being. If you don’t take care of yourself, there’s no way you can care for somebody else in the long term. Self care is not optional, it’s essential to having a good care partner relationship and less stressful experience.

5) walk away before you explode

“I didn’t mean what I said! I can’t believe I was so cruel…” These are the words of care partners who are falling apart at the seams. They are exhausted, depleted, at the end of their ropes, and they have said and done things they would never normally say or do because they have not paid attention to #4. If you find yourself at this level of crisis, walk away before you say or do something that will make the situation even worse. Give yourself time and space to breathe and recoup — a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, whatever it takes to get yourself back together.

6) walk back when you are strong enough

Because of the stigma of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, people who live with dementia often become isolated when they most need our love and support. When you’re strong enough, and you are ready to take their hand again and walk by their side, please do so. They need you. If you can’t do it personally, help and support those who are able to do so in your place.

These tips and thoughts are based on my personal experience, as well as my knowledge and work as a dementia care trainer and coach.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/01/10/10-things-to-remember-when-you-interact-with-people-who-forget/

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Advocacy, Quotes, Teepa Snow, Toward better care

5 ways we rob people with dementia of their dignity

Dementia doesn't rob someone of their dignity ~ Teepa Snow quote 2

Sadly, there are countless ways we rob people who live with dementia of their dignity.

Here are five I’ve learned based on my personal experience:

1 ) Calling them by diminutive pet names instead of their given names

2 ) Treating them like they are little more than pieces of furniture

3 ) Forcing them to sit with nothing to do for hours on end

4 ) Neglecting their overall care and well being

5 ) Inapropriately medicating them with antipsychotic drugs

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity regardless of race, colour, creed, gender, or disease.

These tips and thoughts are based on my personal experience, as well as my knowledge and work as a former certified PAC trainer; the quote is Teepa Snow’s. Do you believe things should change? Here’s the other side of the coin: 10 practical ways care partners can help preserve the dignity of people who live with dementia.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/06/13/10-practical-ways-care-partners-can-help-preserve-the-dignity-of-people-who-live-with-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/07/07/7-ways-to-preserve-dignity/

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