Hope, Inspiration, Quotes

how often do we fail to recognize them?

Coauthor of A Pocket Guide for the Alzheimer’s Caregiver and one of Maria Shriver’s Architects of Change, neurologist Daniel C. Potts champions life-affirming care for those living with Alzheimer’s disease/Dementia and their care partners. His blog is here.

When I saw the above quote of his on Twitter (@DanielCPotts), I just had to create a meme with it. What a wonderful, mindset-changing sentiment which EXACTLY captures the importance of looking beyond and behind the condition to see the person that remains until the end.

The quote also joyfully reminded me of these moments with Mom as well as other reflections on recognizing and being recognized:

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2014/10/21/12-pinkie-patti-and-funky-punkie-pics-for-posterity/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2014/04/03/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/04/09/20-great-questions-to-ask-when-a-loved-one-with-dementia-doesnt-recognize-you-anymore/

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Antipsychotic drugs, Quotes, Resources, Tips, tools & skills

10 pieces of wisdom from dr. allen power & dementia beyond disease

In mid-2014, I devoured Dr. Allen Power’s first book Dementia Beyond Drugs: Changing the Culture of Care. My tattered copy is full of underlines, stars, tick marks, and highlights. I’ve referred back to it so many times the pages are starting to fall out.

I kick myself for waiting too long to get his second book Dementia Beyond Disease: Enhancing Well-Being, but now that I have it in my hot little hands, I’m eating it up as well. It’s hard to say what I love most about Dr. Power’s work, but I was hooked after I saw his alternative to the biomedical model, which, to be honest, I didn’t even know existed until I read his first book.

We need more forward thinkers and innovators such as Dr. Power, who, with Dementia Beyond Disease, takes another giant step forward and pushes the envelope with respect to care models, well-being, and how we perceive dementia as well as the people who live with it.

Here are 10 pieces of wisdom I’ve extracted from the prologue and first chapter alone:

1 ) We lament the millions of neurons lost to dementia and ignore the many millions that work perfectly well.

2 ) Preserve identity, celebrate personhood, and create meaning in the moment.

3 ) Many people have acquired a special type of wisdom that comes from living with dementia. They have come to see their lives as far from over, for they have had to deal more directly and personally with grief, loss, and the sense of impending death.

4 ) Changing our approach can produce more well-being for people living with dementia than any pill that is available today, or is likely to be available in the foreseeable future.

5 ) Well-being cannot be bottled. It doesn’t come in liquid, capsule or pill form.

6 ) We create living environments based on our view of the world, our daily needs, and our staffing patterns, and expect people whose brains are changing to adapt to them. And when they cannot, we diagnose a “behaviour problem” and medicate them.

7 ) Dementia is a shift in the way a person experiences the world around her/him.

8 ) People with dementia continue to learn new information, incorporate data, and use problem-solving skills to adapt to their changing perceptions.

9 ) Over-medication of people with dementia is not simply a problem in nursing homes; it is a community-wide problem that reflects broad societal views.

10 ) We need to change our minds about people whose minds have changed.

Dr. Power’s books are priced in keeping with their value, and are worth every penny. I can’t recommend them to you highly enough.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2018/04/30/two-quick-dementia-care-conversation-tips-from-dr-al-power/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/10/10/is-your-dementia-glass-half-empty-or-half-full/

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Advocacy, Quotes, Teepa Snow, Toward better care

6 ways to create better dementia care relationships

It's about relationships Teepa Snow

Here are six concrete ways I learned to forge a more positive relationship with my mom who lived with dementia. The way we approach things is often more important than getting them done. Although ironically, better relationships make it easier to get things done more efficiently and effectively.

1) listen

Open your eyes, ears, hands and heart. Be observant. Pay attention to nuances in behaviour. Listen with your whole being to what’s being said by your care partner who lives with dementia. You may be amazed that people who seem to have lost their ability to communicate can in fact make their needs known and connect at profound levels. Listen to be enriched. Listen to be more effective in how you engage.

2) agree

As I and a host of others have said many many times before and as all smart care partners eventually come to realize, it pays to agree:

Say “Yes, and…” to your care partner who lives with dementia. Go with their flow. When you do, your life and theirs will change for the better.

3) create/hold space

Make space for your care partner who lives with dementia to be who he or she is, whatever that means on the day or in the moment. Don’t try to make her or him into something she or he isn’t, and that includes wishing they were who they used to be. Remember that the core of who they are is is sill there, even though her or his self may manifest in different ways. Make space for the present and celebrate who they are in the moment. (More about that here.)

4) take care of yourself

Caring for yourself is vital. That means doing whatever it takes to find support, get respite, and have time away from your care partnering role. “Put the oxygen on yourself first,” everyone says – and for good reason! Your health is critical to your own and your care partner’s well being. If you don’t take care of yourself, there’s no way you can care for somebody else in the long term. Self care is not optional, it’s essential to having a good care partner relationship and less stressful experience.

5) walk away before you explode

“I didn’t mean what I said! I can’t believe I was so cruel…” These are the words of care partners who are falling apart at the seams. They are exhausted, depleted, at the end of their ropes, and they have said and done things they would never normally say or do because they have not paid attention to #4. If you find yourself at this level of crisis, walk away before you say or do something that will make the situation even worse. Give yourself time and space to breathe and recoup — a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, whatever it takes to get yourself back together.

6) walk back when you are strong enough

Because of the stigma of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia, people who live with dementia often become isolated when they most need our love and support. When you’re strong enough, and you are ready to take their hand again and walk by their side, please do so. They need you. If you can’t do it personally, help and support those who are able to do so in your place.

These tips and thoughts are based on my personal experience, as well as my knowledge and work as a dementia care trainer and coach.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/01/10/10-things-to-remember-when-you-interact-with-people-who-forget/

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Advocacy, Quotes, Teepa Snow, Toward better care

5 ways we rob people with dementia of their dignity

Dementia doesn't rob someone of their dignity ~ Teepa Snow quote 2

Sadly, there are countless ways we rob people who live with dementia of their dignity.

Here are five I’ve learned based on my personal experience:

1 ) Calling them by diminutive pet names instead of their given names

2 ) Treating them like they are little more than pieces of furniture

3 ) Forcing them to sit with nothing to do for hours on end

4 ) Neglecting their overall care and well being

5 ) Inapropriately medicating them with antipsychotic drugs

Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity regardless of race, colour, creed, gender, or disease.

These tips and thoughts are based on my personal experience, as well as my knowledge and work as a former certified PAC trainer; the quote is Teepa Snow’s. Do you believe things should change? Here’s the other side of the coin: 10 practical ways care partners can help preserve the dignity of people who live with dementia.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/06/13/10-practical-ways-care-partners-can-help-preserve-the-dignity-of-people-who-live-with-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2017/07/07/7-ways-to-preserve-dignity/

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Books, Challenges & Solutions, Death & Dying, Hope, Life & Living, Quotes

what matters most

 

Atul Gawande fears or hopes

 

If you or anyone in your family plans on growing older, you must read bestselling author Dr. Atul Gawande’s book Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End.

It’s full of amazing wisdom, thought-provoking ideas, shocking statistics, heartwrenching stories and down-to-earth information about aging and dying with grace and dignity.

I absolutely love it!

I also love the idea of life being a stairway to heaven…

 

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Books, Challenges & Solutions, Death & Dying, Life & Living, Quotes

imagine aging differently

 

MAS AG MD meaning in old age is new

 

If you plan on growing older or anyone in your family does, you must read bestselling author Dr. Atul Gawande’s new book Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End.

A real eye-opener!

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