Category: Little things count

Advocacy, Little things count, Real life, Toward better care

how teresa and her staff helped 90-year-old audrey walk again

My Alzheimer's Story

I love to share positive stories about stuff that works to inspire others to create positive change in care environments. This one is from LPN and aging life care specialist Teresa Wheeler who shared it in a response when I posted “hidden restraints: hidden abuse” on LinkedIn:

“In my first management position in the late 1990s, I was given the task of removing all chemical and physical restraints from the residents in the two dementia units I was responsible for. While there were many success stories, Audrey’s is my favorite.

Audrey sat in a geri chair with a Posey vest on for the better part of every day because we were afraid she would fall and break a hip if we let her get up and walk around. In keeping with the goal of a restraint-free environment, I was committed to find a way forward for Audrey. First we tried removing the Posey vest. Not surprisingly, 90-year-old Audrey crawled out of the geri chair. Then we tried a merry walker, and God bless her, Audrey got out of that too.

With the blessing of her family, the staff and I finally decided to let Audrey sit in a wheelchair under the supervision of everyone’s caring and watchful eyes. Whenever she wanted to get up and walk, we would help her stand up and use the rail down the hallway to walk independently.

The result was like a miracle, Audrey walked for several years with only one fall, and that without any broken bones. She was no longer agitated and her quality of life improved substantially. She loved to walk, and we loved that we were able to facilitate her freedom.

It takes a village!”

Teresa Wheeler is the founder of Seasons of Change Consulting; she and her team provide a range of services to empower seniors and their families in Ohio.

Do you have similar success stories to share? Get in touch!

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Family, Life & Living, Little things count, Love, Videos

10-day-old wyatt meets his great-grandma for the first time

My Alzheimer's Story

*Trigger warning:* beautiful and moving video below. Tissues recommended.

Care partners by the thousands share their joys, sorrows, challenges and solutions in Facebook groups and FB communities–it’s one way to feel connected and be supported by others sailing in similar boats.  The posts are both heart-wrenching and heartwarming, often making me laugh and cry at the same time. One of Sherri Sturm’s stood out from all the others. I asked her if she would let me “go public” with it; she generously agreed.

Sherri described what took place, and shared some video clips with me:

“My mom Sharon is in the later stages of Alzheimer disease. Still, I wanted her to meet Wyatt, my 10-day-old grandson, and her great-grandson. I wasn’t sure how she would react, since she appears to have lost the ability to communicate with words. It feels like she doesn’t understand what we say to her, and she seems not to know any of us either.

Mom has always loved babies, and I thought she might enjoy holding Wyatt. I put him carefully in her arms; she immediately and naturally cradled him. When he put his hand near her mouth, I was afraid she might bite it, mistaking it for food. Instead, she kissed it gently, and mumbled to him. When I made a motion to take him back, she clearly communicated with her body language that she wanted to hold him a little longer. These were such beautiful, precious moments:

This experience showed me that we will never know what someone living with dementia at this stage really thinks, feels or understands. My advice? Don’t discount your loved one with dementia regardless of how they appear on the outside. They are still very much whom they are deep down inside. Treasure every moment, and include them in special occasions and life celebrations whenever you can. You will never regret it.”

Beautiful and precious indeed.

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Care Partnering, Hope, Joy, Little things count, Love

my kissin cousin and mom and thanks for your support

My Alzheimer's Story

111105-liane-mom-and-me

 

Five years ago today, on November 5, 2011, my cousin Liane (left) came to see us for what would be her last visit to Mom’s big red brick house on the hill. We marked the occasion with laughs, smiles, tons of fun and an impromptu photoshoot in Mom’s kitchen during which we clowned for the camera:

 

111105-liane-mom-and-me-silly

 

I share this image now because it reminds that every person who lives with dementia and every care partner who cares for someone who lives with dementia needs love and support. This is a part of life that simply cannot be undertaken alone. If you know someone who lives with dementia, please reach out to them.

I am so very grateful for the support I’ve had and still have from my cousin Liane, from friends near (in the village and across Canada) and far (many around the globe and some of whom I’ve never met), from people everywhere who follow this blog and leave comments (or not) and from complete strangers. Thank you so much from the bottom, top and sides of my heart; I know Mom thanks you too from heaven above. We could not have done what we did without you, and your continued support means everything to me going forward.

Thanks again. #FightTheGoodFight for better eldercare.

XOX Susan

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Care Partnering, Hope, Joy, Little things count, Love

choosing love and finding joy

My Alzheimer's Story

8840339 - love. highlighter over background with different association terms. vector illustration.

Life’s challenges engender choices. Living with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias, either as the person who has the disease or as someone close to them, brings challenges and choices into sharp focus.

As we live the journey, many among us choose “the dark side.” We become debilitatingly bitter and twisted or angry and grief-stricken. Even worse is that by choosing to view their experience in this way, people miss out on opportunities to find and give healing and light.

Others, like care partners Harriet Lovely Benchoff and Alice Cole, choose to give love and find joy in the process. Benchoff stumbled on the dementia “no longer” list, which names the kinds of things care partners may want to let go of (see the full list here):

I no longer have to be right about anything.
I no longer try to explain everything.
I no longer think I am the only one in this battle.
I no longer question.
I no longer feel guilty.

After reading the list, Benchoff, who cares for her mother-in-law, left this comment:

“I no longer wait for the ‘right moment” to hold her tight and tell her how much I love her.”

I was inspired by her words, and asked Benchoff if I might share them on MyAlzheimersStory; her answer was immediate and unequivocal “Absolutely!” She added this touching comment:

“This morning she was very confused and saying “help me, help me please.” When I asked how I could help, though she didn’t open her eyes, she knew my voice, and she said “hold me, hold me.” I was happy to. I cradled her head in my arms and held her as long as she wanted as she kept saying, ” I love you. I love you so much!” It such a precious moment for me.”

Thank you Harriet Lovely Benchoff for epitomizing your middle name and choosing love.

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2019/01/27/a-story-about-being-with-the-people-you-love-whatever-the-state-of-their-brains/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2016/06/27/17-links-to-the-other-side-of-dementia/

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Activities, Joy, Little things count, Videos

tiny bubbles and Wendy’s mom

My Alzheimer's Story

tiny bubbles

March 9, 2016: Wendy Adams’ mom Irene, who is in the early stages of dementia, was having some balance problems.

Wendy and her mom’s physiotherapist Jacob, who made twice weekly visits to the elder Adams’ home for several months, came up with a novel idea to help address the issue: bubbles!

Jacob blows the bubbles and Irene pops them, thus killing a whole bunch of birds with one stone: balance practice, arm exercise, hand-eye coordination, engagement, laughter and FUN!

“It’s been awesome watching the change in Mom with Jacob around,” Wendy wrote me in a Facebook message. “She told him yesterday that he should consider a career in home healthcare! Mom enjoys bursting Jacob’s bubbles and she loves Jacob to death. What a blessing it’s been to have him.”

The number of activities that can be enjoyed with people who live with dementia is virtually limitless. Coming up with ideas just takes a little imagination and an open mind.

Watch Irene and Jacob for inspiration, and then get started with the 101 activities here:

Thanks to Wendy, Irene and Jacob for reminding of the joy of blowing bubbles ❤

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/05/29/101-activities-you-can-enjoy-with-a-person-living-with-alzheimers-dementia/

https://myalzheimersstory.com/2014/06/16/5-things-i-never-knew-until-i-sang-with-my-alzheimers-mom/

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