Sir Ken Robinson’s wonderful 2006 TED talk asks a simple question: “Do schools kill creativity?“ When I re-watched it for the umpteenth time, I was struck by one particular story he told about a little girl and how a parallel might be drawn between the way we label behaviours we find challenging in people who… Continue reading how not to kill dementia dancers
Many of the challenges care partners face are not unique. They are similar to those we face daily in a variety of disciplines as well as in day-to-day living. This means potential solutions to problems are everywhere. Tips, tools and ideas abound. Identifying and applying them to caring can help make our work less stressful… Continue reading 10+ smart dance tips for dementia care partners
This poem was born in February 2016. Like much of my poetry,it expresses and embraces hope and despair. A couple of people have asked me to include a reading of my poems, so there’s an audio version below the written piece. once a dancer a poem by punkie here i am torn apart an… Continue reading once a dancer
November 23, 2015: Mom was determined to get up and move today. I was glad I was there to hold her hands and shuffle several circles around the drawing room with her. “You’re walking so well Mom,” I said, remembering how she used to love to dance. “I know,” she said. “I’m good at walking.” We also sang… Continue reading when mind and body fail, look for the dancer inside
When I got home this afternoon, I found a message in my inbox from my friend Rebecca; there was a video attached. It’s of 102-year-old former chorus line dancer Alice Barker watching herself dance. In the video, she explains why they called her “Chicken Little” in her heyday. I notice her lovely smile and her beautifully manicured nails as she… Continue reading when mind and body fail, look for the dancer inside
The bulge at the front of Mom’s pants drove me nuts. “What a crappy design,” I thought to myself ironically each time I saw her, which was every day, religiously. She’d always been well turned out with great style and panache. Not meticulous or fastidious. Not prim and proper. Not designer, although her wardrobe included… Continue reading incontinence pads put on backwards every day for four years in long-term “care”
September 8, 2019: “Do you want me to read you the really sad poem I wrote last week?” Lilly* asks. “Gee Lilly, I don’t know,” I say. “Not if it’s really sad.” I’m feeling a little melancholy myself. “I’m gonna read it to you anyway.” Lilly has a mind of her own, no doubt about… Continue reading alone: a heartbreaking poem by 89-year-old lilly who lives with dementia
At some point in most dementia care partners’ experience they will find themselves on this battleground: wishing for their loved one the peace that comes with death, while feeling immense grief at the prospect of losing them. The resulting mix of emotions — compassion, guilt, longing, regret, sorrow and more — is exceedingly difficult to… Continue reading eternal anguish
Catherine Bixenman-salesi, who is a member of the online dementia support group USAgainstAlzheimers, is the primary care partner to her mom who lives with Alzheimer disease. Catherine regularly shares innovative, interesting and easy-to-implement “work arounds” to address the challenges she faces interacting with her mom. I shared her great ideas previously here and here. On February… Continue reading dementia care partner mom investigated for having daughter help with care
December 17, 2018: This is the second time I’ve written about Gloria Gallagher and her daughter BJ. The first article is here. Gloria has lived with Alzheimer’s disease for more than a decade. She’s paralyzed from the neck down, and so she cannot move her arms or legs. She can’t get out of bed, and has… Continue reading 7 ways to bring joy to your dying mom at christmas
My Alzheimer's Story 