when people castigate, educate!

“To anyone in this situation: as hard as it is to accept, please remember that it’s ignorance and fear of seeing the reality of the situation that causes people to react like this. They have no understanding of how to react other than to question or criticize. I feel this is caused by fear of the unknown or in some cases lacking the ability to empathize. People need to be educated.

I try to remember how I saw dementia / Alzheimer’s before mum’s diagnosis. I really had no clue. I’ve had to learn as the disease has progressed. I think all of us should write our own story about this journey and what it’s teaching us. We can make this world a better place for all who are or have been touched by this disease. Sharing our experiences will educate the next generations. People might then talk more openly.

My biggest regret was correcting information and arguing with mum, trying to get her to see my reality when all along I should have just lived with hers. This negative proved to be a great positive. I was able to explain to my siblings and mum’s friends not to correct or argue but just accept. Mum is relaxed and not anxious anymore and the people who visit her are more relaxed too. I’ve made it my job to educate and share. The main thing is to whatever is a comfort to mum. Criticism is out of bounds. Only genuine concerns. Thank you so much for sharing this letter.“