the road to release: a poem


the road to release landscape cropped

the road to release

by punkie


i want to protect you mom.
i say. helpless.

what can you do?
she says. nothing.

i kneel before her,
so she can see me.

i love you mom,
i say.

i love you too,
she says.

a flood of despair spills from my eyes.
a single tear rolls down her cheek.

here we are.
trapped in a hallway.

i’m ripped to shreds.
she’s torn to pieces.
we’re both broken to bits.

minutes, hours, days, months.
lifetimes go by.

why are we stuck in this place?
whose tragic plan is this?

i gag on double-bind silence,
hang a noose on a hook by the door.

some words demand to be written,
like some questions refuse to be answered.

with her release will come mine:
too little, too late, too bad.

and when all is still and dead,
we will sing once more.


© Susan Macaulay 2015. I invite you to share this link widely, but please do not reprint or reblog or copy and paste my poems into other social media without my permission. Thank you.


  1. When you are ready I can send you the info on two wonderful books on grieving and loss that have “spoken” to me. I feel your pain and have experienced my own version

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